(Micro class) 5e "SpellJack"

A: Wizard/cleric: 

B: Store

C: Magic item

D: Homebrew

Wizard/Cleric: You can see magic, talk to spirits, and snap your fingers to make sounds appear or flames extinguish in your presence. In addition, pick one of the spell lists bellow. On sunrise each day, roll [templates]x2 d20 against the table, that is your list of spells for the day. Each prepared spell has a single use, but you may end up rolling the same spell multiple times. 

Store: You gain +[templates] to rolls made with consumables or firearms. In addition, you can spend a minimum of 100s at any town to get an equivalent value of potions, acid vials, or first level spell scrolls. 

Magic item: You just went to the store and bought one of the following items: Bag of holding, immovable rod, alchemist's flask. God realised the consequences of what he had allowed to happen, and opened a fissure under the store, dropping it into hell. This negates the second part of template B. As a consolation prize, you can make a small amount of consumables from the corpse of a sufficiently magical creature given 10 minutes of harvesting and an hour of work. 

Homebrew: Choose another level 1 or 2 5e spell to adapt, or make your own. You always have this spell prepared when you start your day (increasing your total spell amount to 9). You may do this again on future levels. If you pick silvery barbs or counter spell your dm is legally required to shoot you.

Note: The spell lists are entirely made by Vivanter, read his post Here. This is just a simple glogification made with his permission. This class is kinda a joke, but it is intended to be seriously played, and it might actually be a lot of fun. 

Arcane Spells

1. Alarm. An invisible ward settles over an area and alerts you when crossed. Lasts for 6 hours.
2. Burning Hands. A cone of flame surges from your palms, lighting anything in its path. Those caught within take d6 fire damage.
3. Color Spray. A burst of chaotic color overwhelms the senses, leaving creatures dazed and blind. Those caught within may save WIL to resist.
4. Comprehend Languages. You understand all spoken language or text. Translations are extremely literal. Lasts for 6 hours.
5. Disguise Self. Your face and form transform as you take on the appearance of a specific individual. Lasts for 6 hours.
6. Expeditious Retreat. Your pace accelerates beyond natural limits, legs moving in a blur. You can run twice as fast for a minute.
7. False Life. Your flesh grows cold as borrowed vitality shields you from harm. You gain d6 temporary HP for a minute.
8. Feather Fall. You and your companions drift safely downward like scattered petals. Lasts for a minute.
9. Floating Disk. A silent, hovering platform follows you, bearing any load you place upon it. Lasts for 6 hours.
10. Grease. A slick sludge coats the ground. Highly flammable. Those who cross it must save DEX or trip.
11. Hideous Laughter. A fit of uncontrollable mirth overtakes your target, leaving them helpless. They may save WIL to resist. Lasts for a minute.
12. Identify. You detect and identify any magical effects or properties of an item you touch.
13. Illusory Script. A passage you pen can only be read by those you intend.
14. Mage Armor. Arcane energy hardens the air around you into a second, invisible skin. You have 2 Armor for 6 hours.
15. Magic Missile. Arrows of pure force erupt and unerringly strike your enemies. Deal d6 damage, divided among any number of targets.
16. Pulsing Bolt. A crackling beam of energy lashes out and clings, surging again with each breath. Deals d4 damage to target creature, then another d4 at the start of each turn until they save WIL.
17. Shield. A flickering barrier leaps into place, blocking the next attack that targets you completely.
18. Silent Image. An illusion takes form where you point, silent but nearly convincing. Lasts for d6 hours.
19. Sleep. A heavy stillness rolls outward, drawing creatures into magical slumber. Nearby creatures must save WIL or fall asleep.
20. Unseen Servant. An invisible force stirs to life and begins its quiet, obedient labor. Lasts for d6 hours and has 1 HP.

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Divine Spells

1. Bane. A curse sours your enemies' courage, causing their blows to falter. Their attacks deal -d4 damage this round.
2. Bless. An aura of radiant grace steadies the hands and hearts of your allies. Their attacks deal +d4 damage this round.
3. Charm Person. Your gaze softens a stranger's heart. They must save WIL or treat you as a friend for d6 hours.
4. Command. A single word echoes with authority and demands instant obedience. Target must save WIL or obey.
5. Create or Destroy Water. Clouds gather or scatter in your palm, drenching or drying the ground.
6. Cure Wounds. Your touch draws pain from the body and closes fresh wounds. Heals d8 HP.
7. Detect Magic. You scry the exact location of any magic or enchantments nearby.
8. Detect Outsiders. You scry the exact location of any devils, spirits, or celestials nearby.
9. Detect Poison and Disease. You scry the exact location of any poisons, venoms, or diseases nearby.
10. Entangle. Living vines erupt from the earth, binding limbs and halting movement. Nearby creatures must save DEX or be immobilized.
11. Faerie Fire. All within a glowing cloud are outlined in radiant light, exposed and unable to hide.
12. Guiding Bolt. A burst of holy light lashes forward and leaves the target glowing for the next strike. Deals d4 damage. The next attack against this target is enhanced.
13. Healing Word. You speak a word laced with divine life and a wound closes from afar. Heals d3 HP.
14. Inflict Wounds. Your touch spreads rot and searing pain. Deals d8 damage.
15. Protection from Outsiders. Attacks made by devils, spirits, or celestials against you are impaired.
16. Purify Food and Drink. Spoilage and taint dissolve at your word, leaving only clean sustenance.
17. Sanctuary. A divine veil surrounds your ally, making foes hesitate before attacking. Those who would attack them must save WIL or falter.
18. Shield of Faith. A shimmering ward hovers near your chosen, deflecting incoming harm. Provides +1 armor.
19. Speak with Animals. You understand and can speak the languages of animals. Lasts for d6 hours.
20. Thunderwave. A violent pulse of sound bursts from you, throwing back all in its path. Deals d6 damage to all nearby. They must test STR or be sent tumbling.